nV Shoxie: I believe in sex after marriage, I've been raised in a christian environment with values.How about you?I believe it's possible to have sex after marriage AND before marriage.
In-fact... I can only imagine someone not being able to have sex at any time if they lack the specific organs to do so.
... What's the point of you explaining that instead of whether or not you value it. And how does this thread even pertain to religion at all?
I believe in sex regardless of marriage. I've been raised in an environment with values. How about you?
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Anyway, I do not value marital status. Marital status to me is only a legal status you agree to enter with someone to obtain benefits. You only do this with someone you love enough to trust (or trust enough to love?). But in any case, marriage is only a concept that exists because of a made-up culture and it is meaningless symbolism.
The only things I value are love, sincerity, integrity, etc. These encompass emotions that exist in humans regardless of our routine or 'culture' in regards to how we organize reproduction of our species. They exist because that is how we are biologically. The reason I actually value these are because they are something you can actually feel, something a bit more than just a shared title you entered for benefits. Beyond that, I think it is asinine to say you have to be married to be committed to another. Even before you're married, you're already in love and committed (hopefully).
This is also why I think Valentines day on its surface is pointless. You shouldn't wait for only a single day out of the year to be really loving towards your significant other, or only wait for a single day to do something really special for your other. Nor is it even really strategic to always do something "special" on the same predictable day.
Of course, in the end, marriage and VDay are only good because of culture and spread beliefs that will cause any couple to experience emotional highs around those situations which will draw out those people who don't think about just being loving all the time / at random.
I actually don't like "Holiday entitlement imprinting" at all, including birthdays. During Christmas and near your birthday, most people become expectant that they will get something or deserve to be given gifts. A lot of people I know literally go around asking strangers for stuff. Holidays shouldn't be an excuse to become a beggar, especially considering those who don't live such privileged lives such that they can even become expectant of obtaining gifts. I don't like how some people only seem to show thanks and admiration of life near Thanksgiving. The Vday scenario is even worse when I hear about people who are like that.
While I consider marriage completely non-sequitir in comparison to what point in a couple's life they have sex, here is a list of what I think are very very very important to consider before having sex.
1. Do you know each other's medical history.
2. Have you agreed on birth control or the responsibility of taking care of a child.
3. Have you assessed your financial ability to take care of a child if you chose that.
4. If you plan on having a child, are you really in love?
5. If you think you're in love, do you understand the expectancy for how long love lasts, and do you think it will last or that you can deal with divorcing at some point in a civil manner?
6. If you're planning on birth control, depending on your personalities, "true" love might not matter. But medical history still does.
7. (For me personally) I would only consider it with someone I plan to live with for the rest of my life [barring any unexpected divorcing].
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